Yes, dear FashCon shoppers, This is to confirm that Yes, yesterday’s notice about a FashCon notice template was indeed an April Fool’s joke. Please disregard all the stuff about ratings etc. Having said that, we don’t think it’s a bad idea for designers to design their Own notice templates (with the new releases on top please). I hope you got a giggle out of it.
Dear FashConners and Connies,
We all know that the voluminous notices from our darling designers can be a bit overwhelming and confusing. In our continuing efforts to revamp our beloved group, we have developed a template for notices which we feel will streamline your group experience.
Please note that this is a mandatory update and Ivy will make little red ticks in her records if the template is not followed for all notices. This is will be subject to our 3 strike rule, the details of which can be found at http://fashcon.com/apply/rules.
On to the fun:
The title of your notecard should clearly list the designer name, store name, and the date of the notice.
The description field of the notice should list the name of the new release in the notice.
The body of the notice should include the following:
1. We are very cognizant of Linden Labs’ upcoming policy changes concerning the segregation of the grid. We at Fashion Consolidated are commited to bringing you All the fashion, whether you are an honest underager, a teen in disguise, a regular adult, or one of our dear deviants who requires nasty latex and bondage gear. Though the Labs have not finalized their plans, we are moving pro-actively to require a rating by each designer at the top of each notice (G, PG, PG-13, R, X, and XXX). We would like you to rate yourselves. The rating should be at the very top of the notecard so that tender souls can turn away if the rating is too high (or extreme rpers can avoid notices for tiny avatars that might send them into a rage). If the content moderator does not agree with your assessment, she will contact you and give you a two week suspension while we work it out. (People not familiar with the rating system should check our website for details.)
2. Your new release and a picture of your new release. Our research has shown that people do not respond well to notices if they do not know what they are coming to your store to buy.
3. Your freebie of the week (we know you have one) and a picture of your freebie. Our research has shown that people will go to any store offering a freebie regardless of whether you post a picture or not, but we believe that this is Wrong and should stop right now. Freebies deserve just as much consideration as a full-priced release. After all, look at the traffic they bring in.
4. Some of our designers are terribly ambitious and have new releases, freebies, And Sales – all in the same notice! If you have a sale, please indicate it next. Please specify if the sale is store-wide, only on older items which will be discontinued, only on the new release(s), or on the freebie itself. Also include the duration of the sale: a month, a week, a weekend, 24 hours, 5 hours, 4, 3, 2, 1, or if the sale will only be operative until a customer arrives.
5. List the hunt or fashion show that you are participating in now or in the next month. This section covers all events, contests, solicitations for models, mentions of magazines that you are in or will be in, your djs, your old and new locations and remodeling plans. Feel free to include a texture advertising your hunt or other event. You can never have too many textures.
6. Because of previous problems with landmarks and landmark only notices we are now going to require that you include three landmarks: your main store, a satellite store, and the mall for which you are trying to bring in traffic. We figure if you aim for three, you’ll at least get one in there. If you do Not have a satellite or branch store, do Not fill that slot with a store of your friend’s; they need to get their own kiosk, thank you very much.
That is all and I’m sure you’ll all agree that it will clarify matters a great deal.
Please remember, no full perms, sofas, sex animations, or real estate. Those are all covered by Different Industries. They are not in the Retail Fashion Industry. Really. In the future, we may open a Consolidated group for each of these different areas which will welcome such notices. Until that happy time, please squelch them.
Oh, I almost forgot, we advise posting in all CAPITAL LETTERS BECAUSE SHOPPERS WILL PAY MORE ATTENTION TO YOUR NOTICE.
If you have any questions about this notice or this policy and how it may apply to your business please check the date at the top of the notice.
As always, Happy Shopping,
Content Moderator, Fashion Consolidated